Strechmarks

Theo tagged me awhile back. So, here it is, with a parenting twist.

1. I babysat less than a handful of times as a teenager, but I always knew I wanted to be a mother and have a big family. I guess I was just nervous around other people’s babies but knew I’d be fine with my own.
2. I never imagined myself as a stay-at-home mom of babies. I didn’t imagine an alternative, either. I simply had no concept of what parenting infants and toddlers could be like.
3. By Tori’s third birthday, I will have been parenting an infant or toddler for over 7.5 years. I fantasize that she’ll be potty-trained before she’s three. If not, it will be over 7.5 years of diapers in this house. Gah.
4. Speaking of diapers, I had two in diapers for 1 year, 4 months before Zoe was out of them and then again for 1 year, 3 months for Gianna. Double Gah.
5. It took me awhile to realize that I was doing what it was that I wanted to be doing when I grew up: stay home to care for the kids. I’ve done part-time bits of this and that since Zoe was 5 months old, and it was only in August of last year that I realized that I just want to be a homemaker. When all of my kids are in elementary school, I might pick up something outside of the house, but I have found my calling and I have embraced it.
6. Two of my three kids look just like me. All of them have my spicy attitude charm. But as Theo noted the other morning, they each have about 2-3 different laughs but I have 19.
7. I would not be the mother I am without my MOMS Club. Ladies, I love you. To my neighbor in Germantown who introduced me to MOMS Clubs in the first place, I will be eternally grateful. (That is such an understatement.) I also would not be the mother I am without mommy bloggers. Dooce, VeryMom (aka Kerflop aka Balancing Everything, and Suburban Bliss particularly pulled me through, made me laugh, and showed me that, no, I was not the only mother who wanted to gobble my kids whole because of their yummy cuteness and then run from the house screaming because of their unparalleled ability to drive me bonkers. Community is everything.

So, this Seven Things doodad had rules and tagging others was part of that. I probably have about 3 PHP developers who read my blog and only came here because they some-crazy-how didn’t find my husband when they meant to. I ain’t not tagging nobody. Please leave a comment, though, if you want to share something about you, or share anything at all.

I’ve recently noticed that nearly every time I visit a medical professional I am asked about the care of my children. Specifically, the inquirer wants to know who is watching them while I’m at my appointment.

I don’t get it. I’m willing to bet my left shoe that my husband doesn’t get that question every time he goes to the doctor. I’d be very surprised to learn that any father gets this question on a noticeably frequent basis.

Is this just an example of gender bias? Or perhaps stereotyping the stay-at-home mother?

Let’s decide for the sake of argument that working mothers and fathers get this question in equal proportions to stay-at-home parents. Then that begs the question: How is that any of your business?

It just seems like such an odd question. It could be small talk, but it seems a little personal to ask a stranger or near stranger that question. Perhaps I could respond with a "They’re with a sitter. And tell me, do you mow your own lawn?"

Yes, I’m overreacting. Not once did I feel like the inquirer was being rude or intrusive or judgmental. Taken as a whole, though, it feels like the manifestation of a larger cultural bias: women of young children should be home with them all the time.

One person’s anecdote does not define a trend. Maybe I’ll take a survey. Or maybe I’ll just return the question with an equally random, personal but not too personal question of my own.